ha!

June 27, 2009

my husband called from the liquor store to see what specific bottle of white i was in the mood for.  he put the phone to the babe’s mouth and said, “avery, tell mommy what we’re buying.”  without a second of hesitation she replied jubilantly, “we buying mamajuice!”

atta girl.

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rest in peace, michael

June 26, 2009

i was born in the late seventies. i am a total child of the 80s. i have never known a world without michael jackson. my musical consciousness has been shaped with him as a central player. i remember waiting impatiently for the MTV premiere of the thriller video. i remember trying to mimic his moonwalk in my living room. i owned a silver sparkly glove. his life and legend were overshadowed by his lunacy, but he is still and forever will be the king of pop. it is absolutely surreal to be watching the news coverage of his death, trying to wrap my head around the words “his body” and “autopsy” and “cardiac arrest” and believe that michael jackson – THE michael jackson – is actually dead. it’s just impossible to comprehend that the biggest cultural icon of my generation is no longer here.

1.  yesterday, i accidentally opened the car door at the exact moment my daughter charged toward my leg, resulting in a tremendous THWACK with enough force to knock her onto her cute little tushie.  she exploded into a heap of tears.  my heart shattered into a million pieces and i immediately set about flogging myself for my horrific inability to predict the uncontrollable nature of my toddler’s movement.  stupid mom.  

2.  to make matters worse, today  i clearly decided that one bruise wasn’t enough and she needed one on the other side of her forehead to complete the look.  i looked away for one nanosecond and she ran in front of a moving swing at the park.  i turned my head just in time to see another spectacular THWACK and another fall on her adorable tushie.  

3.  i bought her a pair of crocs

4.  shut up.  toddler sized crocs are adorable

5.  only she can’t run really well in them and anything faster than an exuberant trot is a disaster waiting to happen.  she tripped over her own toes and took a magnificent tumble while running in the family room today, narrowly missing a collision with the tv shelf.  i guess the boo-boo gods decided to spare us this time.  

6.  i took her into a wal-mart the other day – without hand sanitizer or a tetanus shot, mind you.  i was swerving the cart like a madwoman, trying to get through the store without contracting any sort of communicable illness.  add the swerving to the bottle of juice she drank in the car on the way there…not good, my friends.  she puked all over her shirt, on the seat of the shopping cart, and made a sizable puddle on the floor.  i just kept on walking.  i’m sure it’s not the first time the floor at wal-mart has been puked on, and i can’t blame the girl…wal-mart makes me want to vomit too.  

7.  while we’re on the topic of bodily functions, i had poop (not my own, thankyouverymuch) on my shirt today for a good five hours before i realized it was there.  i had been to the grocery store, target, the park, and starbucks with a nice smear on the front of my white tee.  i wonder how many people noticed it before i did.  

8.  i didn’t change my shirt immediately upon its discovery.  ‘eh,’ i thought, ‘i’ve been covered in worse.’  motherhood has definitely desensitized me to most of the ick factors in life.  

9.  my daughter woke up in tears at midnight a couple nights ago.  instead of rocking her to sleep quietly and putting her back in her crib, i brought her to bed with me.  “do you want to watch nemo?” i asked.  “meemo, yeah,” she replied.  so we watched a movie in the middle of the night when we really should have been sleeping.  it was awesome.

definitely, maybe

June 22, 2009

oh. emm. gee. tee. tee. see. double. you. tee. eff.

baby fever, part deux

June 16, 2009

i snuggled max and wes and ivy tonight.  i’m seriously considering not refilling my birth control prescription when this pack runs out.  dammit.  why do babies have to be so squishy and delicious?  especially that little stinker max.  he’s so sweet and chill; completely the opposite of my screaming, colicky newborn.  if i could have a guarantee that my second kid would be a good baby i wouldn’t have so many reservations about having another.  but, of course, another pregnancy would mean that i’d have to give up wine and i’m not sure i’m ready to make that big of a sacrifice yet.

two men i admire, and whom i probably wouldn’t toss out of bed for getting cracker crumbs on the sheets

both of these men would be on my hypothetical “deserted island list.”  they’re brilliant, they exude compassion for others, and are immensely passionate about what they do.  my love for bill clinton goes way back to the early 90s when my political roots were just fresh little tendrils, stepping out into the world for the first time.  the presidential election campaign was in full swing as i was learning about politics and discovering how my ideals and beliefs lined up with candidates and parties and caucuses and whatnot.  in the center of it all was a cool, charismatic bill clinton and i was totally on board that train, so to speak.  in my first ever presidential election, i am pleased that i was able to cast my vote for bill clinton.  i appreciate much of what he did as a leader, but more so now with the work he is doing with his foundation; working to make positive changes in the lives of citizens and populations around the world. 

mr. brokaw.  my other dirty little secret crush.  i’ve loved him since i was a child.  my dad would arrive home from work at about 5:58, just in time to flip on the evening news.  “ba-ba-bum-BUMMMMMM.  this is NBC nightly news with tom brokaw” became such an integral part of my family’s evening routine.  dad would make himself a cocktail and then sit down in his favorite chair \ to watch the news.  we lived in a number of houses over the years, but this was always one thing that stayed the same.  some times i would watch it with him, too young to understand what was going on, unknowing that the news in another part of the world – or even the country for that matter – would have any sort of impact on my life.  even in those days of youthful ignorance, i still understood that the ba-ba-bum-BUMMMMMMM opening notes of the nightly news were a constant and comfortable tradition.  as i grew older i joined my father to watch the 6pm news more often and it became a tradition not only of the 6:00 hour in our house, but a tradition of the 6:00 hour that we shared as father and daughter.

two men i admire, and whom i probably wouldn’t toss out of bed for getting cracker crumbs on the sheets

both of these men would be on my hypothetical “deserted island list.”  they’re brilliant, they exude compassion for others, and are immensely passionate about what they do.  my love for bill clinton goes way back to the early 90s when my political roots were just fresh little tendrils, stepping out into the world for the first time.  the presidential election campaign was in full swing as i was learning about politics and discovering how my ideals and beliefs lined up with candidates and parties and caucuses and whatnot.  in the center of it all was a cool, charismatic bill clinton and i was totally on board that train, so to speak.  in my first ever presidential election, i am pleased that i was able to cast my vote for bill clinton.  i appreciate much of what he did as a leader, but more so now with the work he is doing with his foundation; working to make positive changes in the lives of citizens and populations around the world. 

mr. brokaw.  my other dirty little secret crush.  i’ve loved him since i was a child.  my dad would arrive home from work at about 5:58, just in time to flip on the evening news.  “ba-ba-bum-BUMMMMMM.  this is NBC nightly news with tom brokaw” became such an integral part of my family’s evening routine.  dad would make himself a cocktail and then sit down in his favorite chair \ to watch the news.  we lived in a number of houses over the years, but this was always one thing that stayed the same.  some times i would watch it with him, too young to understand what was going on, unknowing that the news in another part of the world – or even the country for that matter – would have any sort of impact on my life.  even in those days of youthful ignorance, i still understood that the ba-ba-bum-BUMMMMMMM opening notes of the nightly news were a constant and comfortable tradition.  as i grew older i joined my father to watch the 6pm news more often and it became a tradition not only of the 6:00 hour in our house, but a tradition of the 6:00 hour that we shared as father and daughter.