the soul remembers

May 31, 2009

it’s funny to me that after all these years, this place still feels like home.  familiar smells, familiar sights…there have been changes over the years, sure, but i still remember it all.  i’ve been gone from this house for 13 years now, but i can still walk through it in the dark without stubbing a toe or bumping into the furniture.  from the minute i stepped outside the airport and took a deep breath of the humid, salty, ocean air, my heart ached with a wistful longing for the many years i spent here.  it seems like a lifetime ago.  

i left eight years ago at a time when i needed a new direction.  i was a year out of school, a year out of a dead-end relationship, working a soul-sucking job, struggling through some depression, needing an escape.  i moved away and never looked back because at the time i felt like i had nothing here.  now that i’ve made my life somewhere else, the little whisper of “home, home, home” has grown louder and i find myself daydreaming about coming back, however improbable and unlikely that may be.  

my mom and i went to the park today, the one she took me to when i was a child.  she pointed to the trees around the playground and said, “see those trees?  those had just been planted then.  they were only about five feet tall” and then she pointed to the top of the leafy canopy soaring above our heads.  i watched my daughter climb the grassy hill i had rolled down as a girl, watched her walk to the edge of the lake and dip her toe in the water, watched her point at the honking geese as i had done thirty years ago.

One Response to “the soul remembers”

  1. moderndiapers Says:

    I cannot even begin to tell you how much I understand that feeling!

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