November 7, 2008

i am listening to sometimes by james.  (see my random playlist below).  i love, love, love this song, but it stirs crazy emotion for me.  i wrote about it on my old blog last year sometime, right when i was coming out of the postpartum fog.  i wish i could resurrect the old blog so i could repost those thoughts, but i took that blog down and it is lost forever in the mysterious tubes of teh internets.  i listened to this song over and over when my baby was colicky.  i was so blue, and she was so fussy, and i would turn this song on and just hold her and dance around the room, forcing myself to smile through the tears. in the song james sings “sometimes, when i look deep in your eyes i swear i can see your soul” and those words connected me to my daughter during a time when i was having a hard time just getting through the day.  i stared into her eyes and i knew that she was my purpose, and my reason for being, and my life, and i knew that everything would be okay.  a few months later i was running on the treadmill and this song came on and i totally started crying again because i realized that things were okay.  (i swear the old post i wrote about this song was way better and more organized than these rambling thoughts i’m trying to convey right now.)  it’s crazy how songs can hold so many memories and bring up such deep feelings.  this song will forever be linked to both depression and recovery for me.  it never fails to make me cry and smile at the same time.


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