sometimes

November 7, 2008

i am listening to sometimes by james.  (see my random playlist below).  i love, love, love this song, but it stirs crazy emotion for me.  i wrote about it on my old blog last year sometime, right when i was coming out of the postpartum fog.  i wish i could resurrect the old blog so i could repost those thoughts, but i took that blog down and it is lost forever in the mysterious tubes of teh internets.  i listened to this song over and over when my baby was colicky.  i was so blue, and she was so fussy, and i would turn this song on and just hold her and dance around the room, forcing myself to smile through the tears. in the song james sings “sometimes, when i look deep in your eyes i swear i can see your soul” and those words connected me to my daughter during a time when i was having a hard time just getting through the day.  i stared into her eyes and i knew that she was my purpose, and my reason for being, and my life, and i knew that everything would be okay.  a few months later i was running on the treadmill and this song came on and i totally started crying again because i realized that things were okay.  (i swear the old post i wrote about this song was way better and more organized than these rambling thoughts i’m trying to convey right now.)  it’s crazy how songs can hold so many memories and bring up such deep feelings.  this song will forever be linked to both depression and recovery for me.  it never fails to make me cry and smile at the same time.

my last eleven songs

November 7, 2008

proud mary – ike and tina turner

this must be the place – talking heads

angry any more – ani difranco

send me on my way – rusted root

sexyback – justin timberlake

i’m shipping up to boston – dropkick murphys

don’t stop believin’ – journey

won’t be home – old 97s

bouncing around the room – phish

superstition – stevie wonder

sometimes – james

 

totally random.  all wonderful.  so what are you listening to?

365 project: day 38

November 7, 2008

i have been told more than once that i’d be prettier if i smiled more.  

i have been that i can come off as standoffish or bitchy.  i’m really just kinda shy and introspective.  

i’ve also been told that i have wisdom in my eyes.  i like that compliment. 

as a child i hated my freckles.  now i don’t mind them so much. 

i used to be freakishly self-conscious about my nose, and never let anyone take my picture in profile.  i’m not that way anymore but it took $3500, one nose-job, and ten years to get to that point.  no, you cannot see a “before” picture.  

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365 project: day 37

November 7, 2008

these all came in the mail today.  i think pottery barn is trying to tell me something.  something about a retro kitchen, maybe?  

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365 project: day 36

November 7, 2008

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i’m totally cheating with this picture because it was actually taken last saturday, but i couldn’t *not* post this picture because they’re so pretty.  i love these bitches.  and if either of you hookers dare say anything negative about yourselves in this picture i will smack the pretty right off your face.  don’t think i won’t smack a pregnant chick, kerry.

365 project: day 35

November 7, 2008

(posting late, but this is from tuesday.  duh)

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yes we did

November 7, 2008

shepstickerstill exhilarating.