I could totally be the vice president

September 11, 2008

I served on student council and was treasurer of my junior class. I was co-captain of my college lacrosse team. I did a brief summer abroad program in costa rica and participated in various other “cultural exchanges” in the bars and discotheques of Tijuana throughout my entire freshman year, an experience in which I exhibited tremendous diplomacy and linguistic skill, and negotiated many international trade agreements. our success rate for getting friends back over the border was second to none; we never let a fallen friend stay in the drunk tank one minute more than was necessary for him to remember that his country of origin is actually america and that he really doesn’t hail from the fires of mount doom that are blazing over middle earth. That’s over four quarters of “on the ground” foreign policy experience right there. Granted, I wasn’t in charge of the Alaskan national guard during my service, but I was responsible for a squadron of brave soldiers (read: college freshmen looking to get as drunk as possible and maybe even find a little someone special to take back to his dormroom. But that topic will be discussed later when we talk about parents, teen pregnancy, religion and hypocrisy, and a woman’s right to choose.)

Now, I’m not a hockey mom yet, but give me a few years and I will be the best danm soccer mom you’ve ever seen. I don’t own any lipstick but by the time DC calls me up to serve as McCain’s number-two, I will be ready.

(edited to add: i wrote this before bed last night on my iphone when i was totally doped up on ambien.  sedatives and blogging don’t mix.)

Advertisements

3 Responses to “I could totally be the vice president”

  1. Nicole Says:

    lol this cracks me up!

  2. angelika Says:

    Blogging and sedatives do SO mix! This is hilarious. I am SO voting for you!

  3. Kerry Says:

    Is that really you? LOVE the T-shirt!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: